Clarity and Alignment

Do you ever get overwhelmed by all the overblown, hyped-up messaging on social media? The kind that promises the world and a super easy way to get it? I suppose it’s designed to get us excited and motivated (usually to buy something), but all the exaggeration, overstatement and embroidery just ring false to me.

I want someone to speak to me (whether it’s via social media, on zoom or in person) as a human being — not a number, not trying to “attract” me so that I become a client, but from one heart to another.

Forget the fluff and the hype. Let’s be real with one another. Otherwise, what’s the point?

I’m not interested in being a transaction. I want relationship. Connection. Depth.

Remember the greeting that the Navi’ people used in the movie Avatar? “I see you.” It wasn’t just to acknowledge someone’s physical presence but went deeper: to honor another’s essence, their innate goodness and wholeness and to underscore the connection we have with one another and with the world around us.

Most of us long for real conversations and heartfelt activities. If nothing else, these few years in which we’ve all experienced the social isolation of the pandemic have underscored the need to live according to what matters.

And to be as present with one another as possible. We all know (and value) when someone listens deeply to us. We feel it in our bones when someone is willing to empathize with our challenges and cheer our accomplishments and hold us capable.

Otherwise, we’re just wasting our time and our energy. Both of which are precious and limited, at least in these mortal coils of ours.

To me, living a life that matters includes the clarity about what’s important to us and being in alignment with what we value.

It’s the deliberate expression of depth, awareness and gratitude.

Too many people live their lives like ping pong balls, bouncing from one experience to another with no clear intention that leaves us wondering what we’re doing wrong and what can be done to make it right.

Some of us want to build businesses. Some of us want to lead. Some of us are no longer focusing on making our mark in the world but have spent so much time getting our sense of worth from what we’ve done in the past that we don’t know how to shift our identity to one that reflects who we are now.

We all want happiness and peace. The question is: where do we find it? Do we find it in activities and causes in the world? Or do we find it in diving deeper within ourselves by asking the “big” questions like who am I and why am I here?

It might be both! There’s no conflict when the two paths inform one another.

The trick is, of course, to be aware enough to recognize when (and how) your true identity — your integrity, your authenticity and your true nature — is in alignment in whatever you put your hand to.

When you have clarity about your goals, your dreams and your passions, it’s easy to bring your life into alignment because you’ve gotten to the heart of what you want to have in your life now.

Some of the most familiar phrases that come out of people’s mouths when they get this kind of clarity include:

I’ve finally found myself.

I’m comfortable in my own skin now that I know who I am and what I want.

I’m clear on what lifts my spirits and reflects who I am.

I know when to say no to something that’s doesn’t belong in my life.

Socrates said “the unexamined life is not worth living”. He didn’t mean a self-critical examination but rather the invitation to enjoy a rich, full life that has meaning, depth and fulfillment.

We live in a time of heightened danger, isolation and destruction. What would happen if we made a deliberate choice to be part of the solution or part of the problem that we see in the world?

Nina Lockwood is a coach, author and artist. She is the creator of Redesign Your Life: an invitation is to discover your true nature and live free. Visit her at, LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram (@ninalockwood.nilo).



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Nina Lockwood

Nina Lockwood

Coach/writer/artist. I help others find peace of mind, fulfillment, spiritual understanding and how to live consciously.